The only thing that i would change was split it up into a more prose form, just because then it's easier to read and the reader gets the flow a little better, especially if they're not used to looking for a flow.

i love the silverness of the poem? that sounds weird, but everything i visualized had a tint of silver and dark midnight blue. which is funny...my school colours...>.> Also, I love the word choice. I'm sorry you lost your first one, but this one is definitely great too, jesse. it's dark and...dripping, i guess, with suspension and depth. great job..

5/5

Nice poem, it had a great flow to it and keep up the good writting