[That smile may shine on my face, yet that's far from what I actually feel.
I may say I'm good, but deep down inside I promise you I am not okay.
The tears still roll down my cheeks every night causing severe pain.
My smile may be shining during the day; at night it fades into a frown.]

- A beautiful beginning to the poem. Right off the bat, I can feel the sadness. I like how you've chosen to not do a particular rhyme scheme; it fits good with the poem.

[Knowing that I may never get another chance still lingers in my mind.
It eats away at my heart, my mind... leaving me with pure sadness.
Everyday, it just seems like it gets worse, the pain never disappears.
Getting through each day is so difficult without you by my side.]

- The first line you said "in my mind", I prefer to say "on my mind", but it's your choice. Ahh.. this is about a relationship - I honestly wasn't expecting that.

[Tears form little puddles on the bottoms of my eyelids waiting to pour
down my stained red cheeks like rain, bringing more pain than before.
Unable to hold unto my eyelid, the tears stream flushing my face...
leaving streaks from the makeup that makes all my flaws invisible.]

- Those first two lines are so.. perfect. The imagery you've given the reader is astounding and your words sound so beautiful, yet sad. Nicely done. The last line is also nicely written - very deep and heartbreaking.

[Nothing has changed since we walked our separate ways, my heart
remains shattered in pieces left to lie alone on the cold floor aching.
Beginning a new chapter in our lives without eachother's love
will be difficult, yet a important lesson was learned in this process.]

- I'm not too crazy about your transition from the 1st to the 2nd line and from the 3rd to 4th line - it seems to mess up the flow a little bit to me. Third line, you said "eachother's", that should be "each other's". Fourth line, "yet a important" that "a" should be "an".

[Love shouldn't be rushed; the result is nothing but never ending tears.
What may look like cute love in beautiful colors fades to black.]

- These last two lines are perfectly done. They tied up the poem neatly. I love how you sort of added a moral to the poem as well as your feelings and such. It was a nice touch.

Beautifully done. 5.5

Take care,
Stephanie

Truly powerful words about your inner darkness and sadness. that you have in your heart...I love it and yet I still feel your pain a pain that hurts and wants to die....
10/5