Dreamlike

by Unrequited   Oct 8, 2008


Stamped across these wandering eyes
It gives a breeze to lose you, freeze your cries.
Torn in air, I'm lost in your glare
And falling down into the rain.

A dreamlike storm inside us all.
Thunder calling, lightning crawling
Bringing drops to drain our starlit sky
Selecting songs to sweetly drown your mind.
And watch for your desire in its wake
For I'm a wandering glance into a yearning lover,
I'll be your romance in disguise.

Hold me gently.
Never let me wake from this storm
Come paint your breeze upon my lips
And lie yourself with me
In a dreamlike daze, showered in its rain.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Steven Topaz

    U nearly got one grand visits on this one and only one person rated? sad people because this is a good poem I love freestyle schemeing and this is it, I dont even want to list the scheme its that free and loose, who ever you gave this to im sure as long as they understood it they probably loved it,
    Its out of the two poems i read that were about 3 poems and im glad i got to see more of your write, and also that you dont JUST write short poems/quotes. anyway the poem I can use my Base of rating now:)

    Flow 4/5 it was mainly just the phrasing that threw off the flow a tad bit, A break in stanza means for a pass in time or a new subject, I saw neither here.

    Ryhme 5/5 like i said FREESTYLE cant complain but i can compliment

    It gives a breeze to lose you, Freeze your crys.

    Seems like an impossible task in my life so much drama but by far most creative line of the day.

    Subject 5/5 enough said love is always a good subject,

    Lets just say your under rated and so am i, we need to find better ways to be found.

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