Comments : Nothing Can Seperate Us

  • 13 years ago

    by Kait

    Roxy! This poem is absolutely beautiful! very well written and your emotions were perfectly expressed. I am sorry for your loss. But stay strong and keep writing!

    5/5 from me :)

    kait

  • 13 years ago

    by cowgirlstar26

    Your choice of vocab was awesome

  • 13 years ago

    by Stephanie

    "Since you left I've been dead, Now I can live in harmony."
    - 'Now' should be 'now' ; It doesn't need to be capitalized.

    I love the rhyme scheme that you've chosen to do, it was very effective and it didn't sound forced at all. The flow was nicely done and your word choice was beautiful.

    Amazing job. (: 5/5

    Take care,
    Stephanie

  • 13 years ago

    by The Prince

    This really moved me..
    =/
    You're excellent, you used brilliant poetic language here, really upset me though!
    I'm nominating it by the way because i haven't felt that way about a poem in a while..

  • 13 years ago

    by Nee

    Em I think this poem was really good.
    I loved the wording and your way of expressing your inner feelings was just so sweet.

    I have to criticize one little thing though..your lines are too long I think you should try to shorten them a little..I'm guessing you have a confusion in the length of the line.
    Lets see what I can do :

    You guide me through almost everything, you bring back my once blinded sight.

    Why don't you change this to:
    "you guide me through everything, bring back my once blinded sight."

    Or maybe without the word "once", I just didn't wanna seem like I wanna change the words in the piece.

    "How much I miss you, I can't say, there aren't enough words to describe."

    This one could be changed to :
    "How much I miss you, I can't say, words aren't enough to describe"

    Idk I hope this doesn't annoy you, I'm just trying to help make the poem look better :)

    But I still have to say nothing have lessened the beauty of this piece =]

    Well done hun
    write on
    xx

  • 13 years ago

    by Love Panda

    Absolutly amazing bunny bee, im glad you were able to write about him. sad times but you always make the best out of it all.

    my heart goes out to you bunny bee. x x x x