This was a short, simple, cute poem. I loved how you started the poem out with describing that smile.. the words were simple but put a smile on my face.. now how ironic is that? :] Cute write, I loved the flow of the poem, it was a short poem but it still managed to flow very nicely and smooooth. Great work, I thought this poem was short but said a lot and makes the reader smile. Cute write. 5/5.
Very short, but thats not necessarily a bad thing.
For that short of a poem, that was suprisingly well written, no offence! Just saying normally a poem so small and simple doesnt show that much. I have just been proven wrong, the poem was sweet. Nicely done.
Very adorable, short yet gets the meaning across pretty nicely. The adjectives you used to describe this smile were simple but yet again, in such short few words you did get your point across and it makes the reader smile because the words are so beautiful.
I enjoy short verses that tell an entire story as this does. The words are well chosen and the rhyme is on. I would recommend working on the metre/rhythm as the flow is not consistent, esp starting with line six. You could lengthen line five and that might get the flow back on time. Perhaps "Your smile always heals" but then there are two distinct beats.
Oh well, this is just my opinion anyway
This is really beautiful. A great smile brings so much pleasure. It's like looking at a unknown person in the eyes and he smile with you and up you caught that flue and willing to comtaminates as mush as you can. A great smile has the power to light up one's heart. Short poem yet filled with meaning. Love your write, kel.
Concise, but I believe if lengthened it would lose it's power. I thought the rhyme and flow were absolutely spot on and flawless, as was the wording you've used. Simple, yet elegant at the same time, and perfect for describing this person's smile, which does remind me of my own certain someone's smile. Beautiful piece, I enjoyed it. :)
11 years ago
Sorry my critique isn't exactly insightful or the like.
Its just a flat out cute and simple little piece overall. Also, it seems to me like it'd make a good chorus in a song, or perhaps a refrain in a bigger piece of some sort. It just has a very sing-song quality to it, with a strong rhyme sequence (Idk, rhyme scheme doesn't seem like the correct words here), that just gives it a musical vibe.
Great work :D
11 years ago
Well, its been said a million times, and a million times it was right, this is a very cute, no not even cute, just adorable poem. It made me smile, and i dont do that very much out here. Nicly penned and beautiful. I loved it.