Comments : Our regret

  • 11 years ago

    by Cotton Candy Clouds

    Wow very very good job! you used a unique technique to describe your feelings 5/5 i voted for you : )

  • 11 years ago

    by firexflys

    I love your style of writing and you flow was great as well. and the words you use to express your self are amazing keep up the good work 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Brandon Lee

    You remain one of my favorite poets on this site, I loved the rythem of this piece. great job.

  • 11 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Interesting piece. Let me help you out with a couple typos:

    ^It's b/c of you I am dead on the inside
    It's your fault there is nothing left for me
    But you're the reason I choose to stand now
    Like a phoenix I will rise through are debris ^

    The b/c although not a typo, you shouldn't use text type language in a poem. It makes it look as though you haven't the time to make the piece look presentable.

    ^I wont let you become my current state^
    won't

    ^Show me what you have became
    What I have let you turn into
    These are my words don't you here^ hear

    ^Through are good times and most of the bad ^ our
    T

    A very sadly penned portrayal of heartache.

  • "Let me bleed the rest of my emotions
    Slice open these interwoven veins
    I still have something left to feel here
    Even if it's only the figments of pain"

    ^My favorite stanza.Amazing.

    In the 1st line in the 4th stanza I noticed that you have "b/c"...please edit that out and put "because".The shorthand takes away from the power of the poem.
    But other than that,a fantastic job.5/5

    -Amber

  • 11 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    Come on anger I'm ready for you
    Give me everything you have got left
    You have taken everything else anyway
    And you will not be forgiven for your theft
    For the second line , in stead of you have , try 'that you've' . It's less awkward . And for the third just replace you have with 'you've' .

    Like a phoenix I will rise through are debris
    Are should be our .

    Again , i like the over all idea . You're a very talented writter , just try and be careful of the awkwardness .. But still 5/5 once again .

  • 11 years ago

    by Brittany C

    This poem is depressing. Poems about cutting are not my favorite. But I still gave it a 5/5 because everything about it was great from the wording to the flow and emotion. Keep up the great work =)

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenna

    5/5 I am really sorry for all the grammar police leaving comments, because nothing kills as fast as bad grammar you know..... lol. Keep up the good work.