Alright, first I thank you extraordinarily for your comments and ratings (I haven't had a comment in such a long time I forgot people could do that).

I'm gonna give you the same advice I give many of the other poets on this site:

Read your poems outloud. Poems were never supposed to be a silently read thing. This is why professional poets spend so much time and talent learning how to create tension. Here, read this outloud:

"Short little yellow lines
flying by like time
I am sitting so ever still
just feeling the thrill"

You are definitely missing a beat in the last line.

Advice numero dos, your rhyming scheme is too perfect. Like I said, reading things outloud really helps with this. This is how I write poems, not a rule as much as it is a personal observation. When I first started out writing poetry I had the idea of a poem, then I spent the next 30 minutes thinking of words to other words with. At the end of the writing process... my poem seemed empty and emotionless.

Lets take a look at your rhymes:

lines
time
still
thrill
eyes
cry
arms
harm
mind
kind
wheel
urreal
night
right
there
hair
asleep
deep.
fiance,
astray
me
happy
truth
youth
done
sun
deserve
curve
me
slightly
call
fall
palms
calm
ditch
wish.

It seems you spent a lot of time figuring out what to rhyme the word truth with, or all of these. This kills me to see.

"Tears swelling in my eyes
I still refuse to cry
long sleeves hide weeping arms
consequences of self harm"

This is a good stanza, don't get me wrong, it has good flow. Self abuse is such a heavy thing, it's very raw and biting, and the stanza seems more concerned on being well put together than displaying any of this. Why? It rhymes too damn well. If you say what you feel, not what you think makes a good rhyme you'll get a lot more out of your poetry. I really experimented a lot with non-rhyming poetry, and free verse. It's changed the way I see rhyming poems now. Look at your last rhyme.

Wish and ditch. They don't rhyme, but if you say it outloud it doesn't matter. Strive for this with all your rhymes. The poem will seem less forced.

~Curing the Common Cliche

This is pretty good..i like this one:D

Very good