See you staring, walking, talking
we pretend we're not alone
grabbing friends and those around us
we're more empty than we've ever known

Hide the scars and dim lit places
put on smiles and happy faces
we're fine on our own
filled these empty spaces
I don't understand the last two stanzas . They make no sence .

You drink, I work
we avoid confrontation
doing all we can
to rid this frustration
Add of between rid and this .

but it won't go away
and we know it never will
all these distractions
we know they won�t fill
I don't like this stanza . The last line makes no sense at all .

But we stitch our eyes shut
and we won't say a thing
we don�t want the tears
words could possibly bring
Good ideas , good wording & flow .

We're foolish , we know it ; <- punctuate like this .
but we'd rather just lie
than face all our problems
we'll always deny
Well said .

you'll never break through them
the walls we have built
filled with our burdens
our suffering and guilt

they're there for a reason
and I bet you'd never guess
that they're there for each other
we have to confess

so please tear my walls down
I want you to know
I'll help you pick up the pieces
that I'm beginning to sew

I�ll always be here
No matter what
Even if our eyes
Are still stitched shut

I don't know . Some of the poem don't make sense , and the over all idea isn't very clear . That's easily fixed though . I think I know what you're getting to , and if you can find the right words I'm sure that it'll make the 5/5 . Um , add some punctuation . It helps destinguish the flow , and don't be discouraged . I had to rewrite lots of my poems before I got them right . 3/5