Comments : I'm Holding On

  • 11 years ago

    by ether

    I'm more into image poetry rather than story poetry but this was darn good.
    I like the story, it was different. The beginning I loved because of
    "At that silly masquerade."
    That line in particular made it wonderful and hooked you into the words.

    The flow was also wonderful, which helped the poem along.

    The only thing off with this poem is the filler words.
    "You took off your mask
    And revealed the bluest eyes."
    Can be
    Revealed the bluest eyes
    or
    Revealing the bluest eyes
    etc.

    Still a solid poem, 5/5

    jess ~