Comments : Suffocating In the Tears Of My Sorrow

  • 15 years ago

    by kelleyana

    Tears came to my eyes reading those sad words."I feel so alone without your comforting voice,
    I keep waiting for you to walk through the door,
    But you're gone and not coming back and I'm here,
    Silently suffocating in the tears of my sorrow.", it's not easy to forget about a lost one, but it's something we'd to live it. All we can do is think of the good moment we'd passes with that person. Yes life is unfair, is it sometimes our destiny? however, whatever life continues for those who left behind. Very well done, one that plays with the emotions, 5/5, kel.

  • 15 years ago

    by AngelicDecadence

    Great job with the story.

    Uhm.. i'm only asking this because sometimes poets do this, I'm not quite sure why, but yeah.
    Did you mean to have the first and third stanza rhyme, and the second and last not? If you did, I suppose thats okay, if not, I'd check it out.

    This was exactly how I felt when he died, Pure, utter pain. I can truly understand these feelings. Some words of advice from one thats been there though, Don't Give Up. Thats the worst thing you can do, you know he would want you to be happy, make him happy while he watches over you. It will take time.. It will take a lot of time, and it wont really get easier, but you will start to think of it less. After a while you'll be able to smile and not always see his face when you close your eyes, you will not forget him, he just wont rule your life. just listen to these three words with your heart and soul, please, Don't Give Up.
    5/5