Comments : The Carnival Always Returns

  • 11 years ago

    by Cotton Candy Clouds

    The Christmas season has come and gone once more
    like a carnival it must leave though we still implore
    ^^ i liked the simile you implemented here it did an effective job of getting your point across an i agree it is like a carnival i mean i love Christmas i finally get to see all my family and make some fun memories...i hate when it is over cause that means people have to leave and i have to go back to school :/ great introduction it was very relatable and agreeable

    so filled with sorrow at the end of this wonderful season
    muddled with thoughts of returning to a world of reason
    ^^ that is a bit ironic actually if you think about it ((your first line)) it is such a great season i mean i can't name one person that doesn't like Christmas it's supposed to be a smiley happy season but you are upset at the end because it is gone and you have to return to a cruel reality Great point here : ) i loved it

    the magic is gone and the carnival has ended
    all the happiness, joy, and merriment suspended
    ^^ i like how you didn't refer to Christmas directly. You went back to something you had previously mentioned in the poem. It made this seem like it fit and had such a purpose in your poem. also your adjectives were wonderful here ! if i may say so myself : )

    everything suddenly seems so dark and foreboding
    no more games, fun, and presents for unloading
    ^^ahh so true : / i mean you put it in plain and simple terms! yet in a unique and intriguing way you had an idea and went on with it i think that was effective as well

    but never fear, the carnival always comes back
    just wait and keep your days from being black
    ^^ i like the optimistic aspect : ) it will come back! and you get to look forward to it all year and be so happy and like overwhelmed when it is finally here again! i liked the sense of hope here you were instilling it was very nice

    the happiness and joy may seem far from coming
    but do not despair, the carnival will soon be forthcoming
    ^^ yay! a promising ending if you ask me :)

    great job!! i mean i wouldn't change anything about it : ) i think the flow was all there and the rhyming pulled it together
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by PoetryKnight

    A fly poem indeed, sweetacular bro! 5/5 all the way.