Comments : She Isn't Me

  • 15 years ago

    by HvN

    Course i still love ya :]

    5/5

    great poem!

  • 15 years ago

    by Alicia

    Great job! Very insightful. 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by HidinVictim

    This is amazing very very good... the flow was spot-on and I love the journey you took from the mask, to the reality beautiful simply beautiful... the only thing you might think about changing is the very last line where you question if he wants 'me or her' this does nothing for the piese and for me throws it off. when i reread it without the last line it felt complete but this is just a suggestion... 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Cyber Saiyan

    Right off the bat, I like the title. It gave me an idea of the subject without giving too much away.

    Looking at the poem before I ever read it, I noticed the word THE repeated too many times. This makes it look very unappealing. I suggest removing or rewording most of them.

    In the sixth line, I dont think that FLOWS OUT should describe happiness. FLOWS OUT is normally associated with blood or pain; I would use SURROUNDS HER.

    Other than that, the poem is very well written. A very sad poem, but sometimes the truth is sad.

    Keep writing.

  • 15 years ago

    by Spirit

    How many people in this world does this poem apply to? Well here's one. You express this reader so well threw your poem that it feels as if I wrote it. Was kind of scary.
    Anyway I got real caught up in the meaning and didn't have time to look at grammer/usuage.

    Amazing read
    >~Spirit~>

  • 15 years ago

    by Faithless

    Wow i like the idea of you looking deep into yourself into the reflection of the mirror and see a person who isn't you but just a person who wears a mask to be you.I'm sure there are times in our lives where we do that and search for the real us...and not the person who our family or friends wants us to be.Indeed i'm sure a lot of people will be able to realte to what you have penned down.
    Certainly it was a delightful to read;)

    Excellent Job
    -Azzza