Seriously you have pull off this writing with flying colours.I like the idea of how you turn your worries abt your mum into a poem. I can envision all the emotions tt is going thru...

Blink back the water that is streaming from my eyes
Strength is needed, so it's time to wear my disguise
My outside reads a smile full of strength and hope
My inside screams a story of one who can't cope

^^^ I like how you express this emotions. It's very clever the way you put it;)

The ending was also greta having ur mum to smile at you making you feel relief.I must asay that this is one of your best works.I am really glad tt i read it.

Excellent Job
5/5

Dear Cara,

This poem brings back so many memories.
When I was about 20 years old my mother became very ill. She had a tumor in her intestines that weighed over 7 kilogrammes. She had lost all her fat tissue by the time they operated on her. When she went into surgery the doctor told us that if it was malignant she would die on the operating table. I died a thousand deaths during the many hours it took to remove the whole tumor. It was wrapped around all her vital organs. It was not malignant and she survived. The doctor told us that if we had come any later the tumor would have bursted and she had been dead. She was so weak and thin and I took care of her for a whole year day and night and then at last her strenght came back!

I have a feeling your story is somwhat the same...pm me if you want to share it with me alright?

Love you girlie *hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

Oh and you are wrong, this poem is not "not my best work" ,it's beautiful, silly!

Well goodness Cara if this is not your best job, then you most certainly must have some brilliant poems waiting to be read.
This was a heart wrenching poem, but i'm happy for you that it ended well.
Very well written, well done

Grant

Howe a big emotion somone feel when he si about to loose somone , or think he might lose it , i ahd the same experience , but in that time , i really lsot that person , and it is something unforgetable .

no one really undeerstand what feels like when the doctor comes to tell you the bad news, or can be bad news, these 5 sec before he do , are like entire life...

or when you are siting next to that person in the hospital ,and holding his hand and waitign him to blink his eyes, to say , he made it and your heart is simply not alive , jsut waiting the event to happen..

you say this si not your best work , yet you pinned it very beautifuly , and for me,it dose not have to be the most perfect peom in the world , it jsut have to touch me as a reader and tell me about the feeling you had .

and yet you succeded.
soo very well done

It was an okay piece, I felt. I couldn't really seem to get into it, to be honest, though it was a well told story, that used good wording. Sorry I can't say more.

Brad

Oh Cara hun..that was really good, concerning that it's a true experience..it is good.
Although, your rhyming words had nothing new, almost all rhyming words we all use, you had to create new words but thats okay..as long as you do know what you've written =)

It did need more work and if you really wanted to get these feelings out you should write another piece when you're absolutely ready, I think you'll come up with a much better one :]
Cara you seem to be a good young poetess, you just have to work some things out.

Best wishes and Luck
Nema xxx

Awww, this was rally one of your best, it's great, very sad but just well written. Great job

I like this poem cara....

This is a sweetacular poem, lol. 5/5

This poem was so full of emotion and I am glad that it has such a happy ending. I think you did a very good job telling your story but also keeping us in suspence until the very end. great write 5/5