Comments : An Old Feeling, With A Twist Of Venom

  • 15 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Loved the title ... very powerful write ... full of anguish and anger on someone who has broken your heart or has betrayed you...

    "Your kiss is filled with venom and it's flowing through my body now; Your love is infiltrated through my veins like an antibiotic in an IV- Baby, I can feel you running through my veins. I sure can feel you running; This is a new feeling to an old love, an old feeling..."

    ^^ pain filled with anger and frustration ... i could feel that beneath your words ... loved the metaphors you have used here ... it makes the description emotions even more powerful...

    "I guess I am a little bit less than discreet eh? I wish it wasn't so obvious though. You tilt your head and smile; What a gorgeous smile you have darling."

    ^^ I felt sarcasm in these lines ... the last line adds so much impact ...loved it beautifully penned...

    "Wait, I was taught not to ask questions I don't want to know the answer to..."

    ^^wonderful ending ...

    i usually read poems with defined structure and rhyme ...so didnt comment on the flow and structure ... what I liked most is the feelings behind each line ... as I reader I felt that you have wonderfully described your emotions ...