Comments : The Eyes of a Lone Wolf

  • 11 years ago

    by Dixiedaisy

    Dear this was beautiful and sad. It portrayed so much energy of nature. Very touching piece. As we can all relate that at one time or another we have been the lone wolf in life. Great write.

  • 11 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Loved the read, I've always been a fan of your work, you are truely talented. The imagery was excellently portraied, Great job!

    The flow was good, but not great. The reason I say this is due to the fact that you have no puncuation at all. In poetry, puncuation is very important. It lets the reader know when to pause or stop as well as making it flow better since the reader is reading it the way you truely intended the reader to read it.

    Deep within a temperate forest
    A wolf pup is left abandoned
    His faint yelps for attention
    Drift away as day becomes night

    ^^ Personally for me, I felt the first two words used was very cliche, and the reason I say this is because I see the saying, "Deep within" in a lot of poetry. I am not saying it is a bad thing, just in my opinion it's cliche.

    I do, however; love the feel to the first stanza as a whole. I really like nature as well as animals in their natural elements, and for one, like yourself to write about both it is excellently portraied in these first couple of lines. Great work!!!

    The large pale moon in full view
    Watching over the young hunter
    Chasing small rodents for food
    And learning to survive alone

    ^^ Survival of the fitest, always comes into play with nature and animals. It's the way of life which is taught from birth, but for those such as this young wolf he has to find food and survive on his very own. Hard to really grasp, when a majority of humans are nurtured from birth.

    Great stanza, I am really enjoying this read so far. Time to move foward and read the rest.

    As he grows his skills increase
    Becoming a threatening predator
    His howls strike terror at night
    And his eyes sink with savagery

    ^^ As I originally mention, puncuation would really be great to fully understand when to pause or stop as well as giving a overall better flow.
    Example, take the first line in this stanza, "As he grows his skills increase" at the current moment, there are no pauses or breaks in this line. I think it would flow and sound better with a pause... "As he grows, his skills increase"

    Without a pack he is a lone wolf
    A nomad, a wanderer of the forest
    His lonely eyes are full of sadness
    As he crawls into his den alone

    ^^ Really loved the ending here. It's a nice close to the rest of the poem. The second line, I liked your use of words, "A nomad, a wanderer..." Great use of vocab.

    Excellent peice of poetry from top to bottom. Keep up the fantastic work.

    Peace, Joe

  • 11 years ago

    by Cindy

    I love the way you have combined the nature of the abandoned wolf cub and lonliness, Excellent poem :)
    Take Care

  • 11 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    Wow thats a unique one and was exciting too. Loved it. Great write

    all the best and take care

  • 11 years ago

    by Deana

    Darien, this poem creates such an interesting feeling as you read it. A sadness but yet power, At the end it comes across like a metaphor, maybe of coming to a home all alone! excellent write.

  • 11 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Oh wow, it's been so long since I last read your work, Darien.
    You are still an excellent poet:)
    I love how you portrayed the life of this lonely creature.
    Very well done, my friend!


    5/5 Ingrid