Comments : Rose Cottage (Double Etheree)

  • 15 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Excellent! Rose Cottage, how I would love such a place. My favorite flowers, a small cottage, a garden, near a lakeside. Candles dance wearily, I suppose they do at times get tired and it does appear the flames a weary. Your words bring to mind such wonderful images, it is hard to take them all in. Thanks for all of these. 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Grant Gilbert AKA Slash

    Hmmmm Michaels painting pretty pictures again this time it seems of royalty in days of olde, very very nice Michael, very descriptive and in a tricky form to boot.
    Well done

    Grant

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    You drew me with the first word I read...such a romantic poem you have penned:) I would like to visit such a cottage!
    Very, very beautiful, Michael!

    *hugs*

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 15 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Beautiful etheree... and wonderful word choice...
    i felt your are trying to say much more thorugh your lines ... describing the times the that the cottege has seen from bravery to princess..

    wonderful write...

  • 15 years ago

    by The Prince

    I've been waiting to comment this, sorry about the delay.

    'Echoes of bravery roar with laughter
    Dusk swathe this, a paralysed master.'

    I love the flow here. Echoing bravery was interesting, cause I didn't quite get it at first, and I know how that echo can be used in many other contexts, it's an awesome metaphor, yet somewhat complex if you actually want to grasp the meaning behind it I think. Or maybe I'm looking too much into it. I thought dusk said 'ducks' when i first read it hehe, 'swathe' is a good choice of word. You refresh me with your linguistic inputs to poetry.

    'Candles dance wearily
    As lunar light grows,
    Over Lakeside
    Lullaby
    Cottage
    Rose'

    The wording here was absolutely gorgeous, and I loved how the format allowed you to place Cottage and Rose right in the centre there. Adverb 'wearily', is it the right word to use? I really liked it if the imagery was more vibrant yet wearily makes it seem almost foreboding. Although adverbs aren't used commonly, and when they do, they need to be strong because some lazy writers rely on them, you however do not. I was just thinking if wearily was the right one.

    'Where Princes' parade
    In a palatial bliss'

    Adored the alliteration here. 'Palatial' is another underused word. Bring it back! It's a lovely adjective.

    I think you saved the best wording for last. I don't know how this has averaged a 4.3 but it's beyond me. I don't think there's many poets that can create such a fantastic image of 'stroking a sonnet', lovely soft consonants make it light to read. The last four lines stand out above the rest, which is a good thing and bad thing, it's good because it ends with a shout, not a whimper, but the whole poem does spend its time leading up to it.

    Regardless, it's amazing, and I'm sorry I took so long to comment,

  • 15 years ago

    by mandy

    Beautiful, very poetic. You have an amazing talent, 5/5.

    -mandy :)