Comments : Alive Again

  • 15 years ago

    by kelleyana

    "When the world was painted in black and white
    And the depths of my heart froze in despair
    Those visions taunted me, blurry was my sight
    Horrible illusions of a world without care." Waw, i really like this poem. Very meaningful and touching. Very well written, 5/5, keep it up, kel.

  • 15 years ago

    by Cantchangeme

    Wow, a really, really great emotionally driven poem. The meaning behind the poem obviously means a lot to you and it comes across great here.

    Throw into the mix the brilliant flow and rhyming style and this is of the best poems i've read recently, brilliant poem

    "Finally, when all hope was gone forever
    A glimpse of hope burned inside infinite shade
    All happened so fast, but time was crucial
    Soul and body aspired to a phase of decay"

    Also loved this stanza

  • 15 years ago

    by Blissful

    Loved the title! It really captured my attention.

    "Under the pressure of this powerful dark stream"
    ^Great use of allilteration here. I dont know if you did it on purpose but the [p] power and pressure was perfect in creating the mood. The [p] sound itself sounds full of power so it added a nice touch you the message you wanted to get across.

    "Finally, when all hope was gone forever
    A glimpse of hope burned inside infinite shade"
    ^Using the word 'hope' here twice didnt really do anything for me. I'm not sure if you repeated it on purpose but I think it would sound better if you said it just once.

    "All happened so fast, but time was crucial"
    ^It would sound better with a 'it' in front of the 'all happened...'

    "Soul and body aspired to a phase of decay"
    ^ What wonderful use of words! I loved how this sounded when I read it out loud.

    "Kissing me softly, lifting my spirit higher high"
    ^The ending here with 'higher high' doesnt really make sense to me and kinda threw the flow off but after reading it again it didnt really stick out to me like the first time I read it.

    This was a beautiful love poem! The best kind of love is one that saves us from the ashes we have been decaying in and just makes us feel alive once again which is why I loved your title. Its only two words but said so much and held an immense amount of meaning. I'm sure the person you wrote this for truly adored it.

    I'm glad I read it.
    Well done!
    *5/5* :]