Comments : With That Apple tree

  • 15 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I prefer this poem a lot more in comparison to the first one I commented.

    "You'll find me under that apple tree
    Clawing at the dirt with bare hands
    Through the the hard rocks and clay
    You'll find me there all alone"

    ^^ I felt in this stanza a strong image is conveyed. I can vividely picture this scared person trying to find some kind of solace beneath that apple tree.

    "The red apples turned brown with rot
    Leaves blown away with the whispering wind
    Dry dirt you'll find malnurished roots
    Blood splattered from my raw fingers"

    ^^ I particularly enjoyed the first two lines here. The rot from the red apples seemed to flow nicely into you talking about the leaves that are getting blown away. For some reason I got this image of whithered leaves in autumn and this helped me to put the brown rotten apple and the [brown] whithered leaves together to cfreate a nice image.

    Overall, nicely done. :)