Comments : Starched Love {acrostic}

  • 10 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Wow, wonderful write!!! I enjoyed this piece of poetry, the flow was flawless, good job. Although it is a structured poem, you made it look effortless and very easy to do. I love acrostics since it gives the usual writter a challenge compared to a lot of other structured poems.

    Overall a fantastic write, keep up the great work.

    Peace, Joe

  • 10 years ago

    by The Prince

    Your second comment...:)

    I'm gonna be commented out at the end of the day, I just did Luanne's five. Haha.

    I love acrostics, I was trying to envision what a collaborated one would look like. :)

    'Soft kisses from a pressed white collar,'

    Loved the double 's' sound you used here, this made me think of like...the kisses are suited hahaha as in they're formulaic and quick, like a 'I'm off to work honey' sort of way. The passion's faded..sort of thing.

    'Tightly bound by neatly ironed lies'

    This was great; my tutor always tells me off for using adverbs, but I don't know why. I liked the way you hooked the line around the last, like a tie! Woop! :)

    'Acquiring a taste for stiff necked embraces,'

    Liked the assonance of the 'ay' sound in taste and embrace, this line was perhaps my favourite as it had a real smooth quality to it. 'stiff necked' was reminscent of the first line and the imagery you created there.

    'Hell bent on seeming publicly pure. '

    Isn't hellbent one word? Not sure. Were you trying to say here that the 'couple' here put on a facade of some sort? Like they appear 'in love' in public. Hmm.

    'Everyone knows fascination ends with acceptance.
    Dare we say acceptance of the unfascinating. '

    This was absolutely brilliant. Every one of your poems has a little gem in it, whether it's a phrase or a line, or in this case two lines. I loved how you phrased this. I know it wasnt your intention but it reminded me of the fascination of knowing somebody, then what do you do when you know everything? Loved ittt. :)

    'Lips curl and press without sensation,
    Only to appear pleasantly matched.'

    This gave me the same image as the beginning; what appears isn't necessarily what is. 'Curl' was lovely. Liked how you repeated 'press' too. The whole poem works as one yet reveals more imagery as it goes along. You talented little soul. :)

    'Vicarious atonement by way of
    Evolutionary passions -- we lie in love. '

    The fact that this is an acrostic makes me respect this piece more, your choice of language was fascinating. 'lie in love' was something I've seen used in other contexts but it works and it's a strong ending.
    Excellent work again, and I hope you're not bored of my comments and ramblings. :)

    You have one more promised yet ;)

  • 10 years ago

    by Jaklynn

    OH Wow. Acrostics are so hard to write, and you did it very well. I love how deep you made this poem without making it very long. The acrostic pattern didn't seen forced at all, and I know that is very hard to do. Great work, i love it.

  • 10 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    This was beautiful Nova....Danny said it all. I loved so many things about this. As always your diction is amazing and adds such a nice touch to your poems. I love how unique your poems are. Your titles as well. You never fell to amaze me dear. :) Nik