Comments : Unsanctified

  • 15 years ago

    by Nix

    Opening lines are fantastic because you said so much with few words. I like how you used -your wine- because you remarkably described that person.
    And rest of the stanza continues in fascinating demonic tone.
    I like whole picture, it posses rich imagination but also deep emotional impressions.

    Second stanza has very interesting wording, I didn't know all words, so I learned some new ones :)
    Anyway, I think that sudden change of atmosphere, on the end of stanza (last two lines) is very effective.

    Third stanza is powerful, poetically violent.
    I like it, though I don't understand what you said with this:
    -releasing
    the winged -
    It is probably me, but I don't get it.

    And last stanza left the deepest impression on me. I think that you used fantastic comparison
    with queen and bees. It is really unique, and it just amazed me. You expressed such powerful emotion, simply, yet so creatively.

    I didn't read your poetry for some time, but this one was so exciting to read. I missed your poems, and this one shows why.
    I think that you managed to create the brilliance of this piece, because you wrote it for yourself. I think, it looks like it has very deep story behind it, so I guess that it was easier for you to express emotions through this one.

  • 15 years ago

    by HOLLY ARMER

    Wow! I've never read any of your poetry and I'm glad this is the first piece.
    The intensity and visualilzation you create is beyond words.
    Just awesome from beginning to end, well done and welcome to the club!