Completely adoring. 5/5

How cute 5/5

Warm brown eyes staring into mine,
As if trying to find some kind of sign,
-As if trying to find a sign- would flow better .
Soft lips move as they ask again,
"Are you sure you're not perfect?"

I smile and laugh, he hasn't got a clue,
He doesn't know what I've been through,
It's good though, I'm happy like this,
So I say, "No hun, once again, I'm not."

He looked to the sky, holding me by the waist,
Whispering to me while we embraced,
-Whispering to me while we were embraced-
"Well gorgeous, even if you're not perfection,
You're so close to it I can't see the difference."

I laughed at him as he stared into my eyes,
"Do you think this is perfection?" I compromise,
-This rhyme seems a little forced and awkward .
He answers with a few words of his own,
"This isn't close, it's ... so much more."

Interesting rhyme scheme .. I've never seen anything like that . Good flow , and other than the couple suggestions I pointed out I think it is really well written . 5/5

I thought it was fantastic.
great way to express ones affection. :)

Nothing can be said...though the idea that this was an actual conversation just doesn't sit right with me, haha. Very excellent.

Peace and prosperity,

(RKD)

I really do love this poem... it reminds me so much of me and my love. *smiles*
You write so very well and from the heart to which makes your writing even better to read. The rhyming seems to flow well the only thing that really kinda made me have to stop and think about was when you said
"it's good though...I'm happy like this"
I sorta had to think about what you meant was good like were you trying to say
"its ok though..."
or maybe even something else

thats what i thought though
5/5! very good poem!

-MoonLight

Wow. So amazing. I absolutly LOVE it. I would tell you which stanza is my faveourite but they're all so good and I can't decide. but I really liked the last two lines of the last stanza. Wonderful. Keep it up. ~KM~

Nice poem from a little girl like you.. you have the great mind and hands... continue working in beautiful poems...

Ahhhh... i loved it it was sooooo cute :) i wish i had someone like that :)

Ok i think its good and really cute and sweet but theres nothing underneathe its a simple conversation and embrace

I love all of your poetry.
the ones i read anyways.
:))
this poem in by far my favorite though.
I dont know why, it just is.
dont stop writing, you have some real potential.

And it would be greatly appriciated if you could comment and rate one of my poems.
thanks love!

-jesss.
Btw:: Im putting you in my favorites ;)

Hello...it is very sweet. I love it. You write very well. 5/5

OMG that was PERFECTION..

so tender and moving!1!! LOVE IT

Beautiful! I can picture this scene as if I were watching a movie:)

Beautiful its like the end of a love story 5/5