Comments : Heart of Icarus

  • 11 years ago

    by AnCi

    Your opening lines of the poem were really catching, you made the reader want to read more, but it feels to me like the rest of the poem was very predictable and it was not really what i hoped it would be. At times I also feel like you rhymes were a little forced. Other than that it was good!

  • 11 years ago

    by Not Enough

    I really like the writing style you chose. The ue of syllables is very important and I think you nailed it. The rhyme scheme is a little bit off in a few places, which doesn't help the flow. But it's still good. It caught my eye at the begining. I kind of lost the whole idea of the poem until the end. The end was very well written.

    Soda E>

  • 11 years ago

    by xXxemzxXx

    I really love this poem the style in which it is written and the imagery created your choice of words and everything about it. 5/5 keep it up

  • 11 years ago

    by CanUKissAwayMyPain

    I once heard an angel, I once heard her sing.
    Her voice was the light of heaven upon the wind of spring.
    Across the purple skies,
    the angel's song took flight,
    and lit up my night.

    ^^ aww... this was beautifullie writen. "purple skies" those words gave me a nicely imaginie. cuz i lvoe the color purple. lol. nice opening as well.

    I once saw an angel, I once saw her shine.
    She was like a star, my angel on cloud nine.
    She lingered in my gaze
    kept me in a daze,
    set my heart ablaze.

    ^^ "she was like a star, my angel on cloud nine" was my favorite part in these lines. lovely words indeed. i wouldnt change a thing

    I once felt an angel, I once felt her touch
    My soul, it soared beyond me, her fire was too much
    For mortal hearts to bear,
    but I could only care
    for the angel fair.

    ^^ i like every first line in a part is sorta the same but say differnet thing but yet the same thing. i cant explain myself. i love it.

    I once kissed an angel; I once kissed the sun
    So much light it burned me, but she and I were one.
    A single love in time;
    her heaven was sublime,
    and golden bells did chime...

    ^ i would say this is my favorite part of your piece here. it says so much n i love every single word you have writen here.

    I once loved an angel, I once loved a dream,
    And even now, I love her; she still reigns supreme
    In these words of mine,
    in every verse and line;
    my angel so divine...

    ^^ aww... lovely and sading. "once loved an angel" powerful , heartbreakin words.

    There once was an angel, a storybook did say,
    Who caught the hearts of mortals, and led them all astray.
    Fallen and forlorn,
    the wand'ring men did mourn,
    and thus artists were born.

    ^^ amazing way of ending your poem here. o love it and i wouldnt change a word here nor there.
    5/5

    TaKe CaRe,
    Frenchy

  • 11 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    I once kissed an angel; I once kissed the sun
    So much light it burned me, but she and I were one.
    A single love in time;
    her heaven was sublime,
    and golden bells did chime...
    Oh! to be young again I love this verse the most, as I remember my angel and I remember heaven that was sublime.
    This is only the second of your poems I have read and for someone so young I find you have the gift. I did not like the end of the first stanza but on reading it again maybe I was wrong as I thought it was a little to short and needed a qualifier, And her lyrics or its lyrics lit up my night. I would leave it as it is though as it is yours. 5/5 Ray S I will be reading all your poems and I have added you to my favourites.