Hm.. I like the meaning and the thought you've put into it.
But I know you can write in structure, and you could have put this in one. For me, poetry is supposed to have one, or it's just a story in paragraphs.
It also wasn't the best flowing piece..
BUT what can I say with my piece of crap writing's lately right?
I like the content, just the structure and flow is off.

Ily! xo

I love the overall setting of this poem, though structure would make the flow work A LOT more effectively. I think it's essential for a poem to be structured, this gives writing a larger advantage to have a strong impact on readerst. Proper punctuation is always good to have so that readers know when to pause or take in effect emotions of a piece of writing, you should consider this when you post new writing. Once again, watch your tenses as you write as well, I notice that you seem to switch position of your character a lot. The flow could be better but it's not bad.

Great job on conveying a strong enhancing opening as well as ending with strong emotion. You're a good writer as far as I can see, you just need to work on simple things to touch up your poetry.