I think you have a lot of potential, i want to say that right away, but i also think you can do better. i think you are holding back a little or maybe this is just how you write for right now but i do think you could do better if you tried. The rhyming was good but sometimes it seemed kind of weak (eyes and lies) don't get me wrong i also have very weak rhymes and i know that but you said you wanted criticism and this is just what i think. like i said before i think you have a lot of potential i just think you need to work on it a bit

You did a great job capturing anerexia in this write to your best ability. I thought that you spoke of everything, from how someone thats anerexic wont eat anything, and looks at themselves in the mirror and believes they are obese when really they are only seeing the opposite, because they are basically skin and bones. I have not much else to say, I thought you did good writing off such a huge topic such as anerexia... its nice to read something from you again, I havent been able to in a while, and thank you for your comments as well...

Temps. [Beyond a Poets Mind]