Comments : Two is the Lonliest Number that You'll Ever Do

  • 14 years ago

    by Kaila

    Nice job! Love poems are my favorite

    First stanza: I think it would sound better and more complete with punctuation in there. It gives the reader a guide on which way you would like the poem to sound. Also the first three lines were sexy and I was really into it but then the last line was a buzz kill for me. I didn't think it fit right with the flow and the rhyming took away from it.

    second stanza: I thought this was super cute! The guy like "hey it's alright, I'm here" kind of vibe. Again though the rhyming isn't important so don't focus on it so much.

    Third Stanza: I love this! Confusion, lust, everything spiraling into one! DRAMA! my favorite. Again watch the rhyming.

    Fourth Stanza: Not sure how paint fits in there because, it's not really a metaphor or simile. Just sort of odd.

    Fifth Stanza: I found it strange there was punctuation in the last line? You shouldn't skip it then use it in the end. Also again I loved all three lines but the last one didn't quite work.

    All in all nice poem needs a few tweeks but it's good
    4/5