Comments : Heaven smiles.

  • 9 years ago

    by Kurt

    This was pretty well written considering the lengthy break between this and your last poem. Incidentally my favorite stanza was the same stanza that I think could use a little work.

    "But life brings upon obstacles,
    for the weak and the strong alike.
    Cities, borders and oceans,
    many faint-hearted, it does psych"

    I like the concept of life's obstacles for all people regardless but the rhythm is thrown off in the last line. It seems forced and it causes a hiccough in the flow. Other than that it was well written and emotional. You still have the same talent that you always did. Keep writing and I'll keep reading. 5/5.