'Your words,
venom dripping from your tongue,'
`I have heard this before, the idea of words being like venom, so its not the most creative line in my mind but it works to get your point across.

'burn my mind,
as it scrambles for the reason
or rhyme to all this hysteria.'
`I liked the word burn here, but then I didnt. I liked it because it was something different, it was better than using something like poisons or something like that; yet.. the thing I didnt like about it was I couldnt really see this--venom burning someone's mind..maybe I just feel that way cause its original and unheard of. Loved the usage of 'scrambles' though -- kudos on that one.

'Comprehension fails me,
as your soulless eyes
bore into mine,
drilling to caressed thoughts
pouring through my heart.'
`This was pretty unique & well done for the mot part

'The gentleman standing before me
has withered into a shadow.
Such cursives you use
defy everything you were blessed with.
Your mother would be crying, now.'
`Its sad when someone you know has possibly faded away from your life or they have changed. I really loved the idea of them turning into a shadow, this could mean many things -like I siad they have faded easy from your life, they have changed, they don't mean as much; ect

'And as my mind scrambles,
the jigsaw pieces unfreeze in your heart.
Reality dawns on a shattered horizon.
You have changed, my dear,
and I don't like what you have become.'
`I didnt like how you used mind and scrambles again - I thiiink you can do better than that - otherwise LOVED the ending.. this person has changed and you dont like it, great expression of feelings.

I think you did well with this. =J