I love it :-)
Haven't read poetry oni this site for some time..Loved your images and the metaphor was great!
Awesome job Mel
Write on~

When,
charcoal hearts eroded,
I was seduced by thy bait.
Like Snow white to her apple
there was no escape.
^^^
Though I loved this entire piece (as I do with all your poetry) this part was my fav. I loved it !

I always learn something when reading your poetry Mel. Whether it be a new word or something like the Kelpie the shape-shifting water horses.

Wonderful read Mel ....

'I am reminded;
of the night when
our sky decayed,'
`I dont think you need a semi colon after reminded, having that pause there kind of threw me off.. I think it would flow better without it. Loved 'our sky decayed' I assume youre talking about love here?

'When,
charcoal hearts eroded,
I was seduced by thy bait.'
`Very well done! 'Charcoal hearts eroded' - excellent imagery, very unique and well said! Seduced by thy bait makes me think that this person lured you in by their sweet words, as many do and then get hurt in the end.

'It was;
death by sea.
With venom
upon his lips,
an Ophidian kiss
which froze
my fingertips. '
`Very strong ending... powerful word choice emphasizing the huge effect this made on you. I can feel the emotions you feel as I read this.

Great write. :]