Comments : Dead Angel Saved

  • 14 years ago

    by divine divinity

    Beautiful. Such raw painful emotion in each word, expressing so much love and hurt, tragically elegant. Enjoyed the poem, thought it said a lot, about life, relationships, love and loneliness.

  • 14 years ago

    by MaSkEdSoUl

    This is very beautiful. The emotion was there and I kinda now how you feel, I just havent found someone to hold me and sooth the pain. Very well written.

  • 14 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    A nice simple write, the only advice I would offer is the end of the first stanza

    No one cares
    Every one is gone

    Your next stanza starts with someone who ios there for you.

    One person held me
    He soothed me through my pain

    I would maybe add something to make it so that the first part is not so final.

    Many don't care
    Almost everyone is gone

    Something along that line, but otherwise nice job. I like the title.

  • 14 years ago

    by Faithless

    I like how you open up your poem. Putting yourself in the shoes of an angel. I'm guessing that this person who held on, is your best friend. No matter how you want the spark to ignite, but it just refuse to light up.

    A few things to take note:

    Memories and dreams hunt me
    ^^^ I think you mean haunt here instead of hunt.

    One person held me
    ^^^ Well because the last line before the stanza says "Every one is gone", you might wanna rephrase this line to "But one person held on" I think it sounds better.

    Well overall, i did enjoy the poem. Congrats on marking your 100th poem. keep up the good work.