Comments : Through the grey

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Through all the greys and monotone
    Through the secrets unbeknown
    Through all the mist and fears
    Through all the prayers whispered through the years

    *For the last line I would change the second "through" to "over" that way you don't have to say "through" twice in one line.*

    There's always light among the grey
    There's always truth to find
    and as you walk forward you leave the mist behind.

    *I like that you said "grey" and not black or darkness or something like that. People hardly refer to grey when it comes to lack of light. I'm glad you did. Very clever :) *

    There's always a song to hum
    There's always a hand to hold
    For every quiet being,
    there is another who is bold.

    *Yay you did it here again when you related "quiet" and "bold". That's so creative to me*

    So continue on my friend.
    I will be on your left and we will make a pair
    and with you I will always share.
    And to make that three,
    on your right god will always be.

    *Aww what a sweet ending. You're friend is lucky to have you. Very nice poem. Simple and to the point. Keep it up hun. Nik*

  • 14 years ago

    by waiting for the unknown

    Oh thanks so much!! i apreciate the feedback! its very constructive and i apreciate it whole heartedly :)