I gave you a 5, but you deserve a 10. i know a lot of people go around on this site, rating people's feelings. but just cause you said that it doesnt matter what people think, then i applaud you for that. you feel whatever you feel and no one should rate you on that. i understand that it may be even hard to describe with words but you're not alone, even if you may feel like it. i dont normally do this, but if you ever wanna chit chat about it or anything, you can always message me.