Comments : He Wins

  • 11 years ago

    by Solace

    I have to disagree with you. I completely understood what you were trying to get across. I had the mental image in my head as I read this. I think it's beautifully written, I loved it. :)

  • 11 years ago

    by kelly buzi

    I can agree with his poem its how i am feelin right now keep the good work up

  • 11 years ago

    by SheenaMarie

    I think this poem is great...the emotion runs to the soul...5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Stephanie Michelle

    "It used to be so easy, it didn't control my life,
    But now every night i seem to turn to my knife.
    Who is that girl,That I see,
    In the mirror, Oh, no that can't be me."

    This is probably my favourite stanza. I like the repetition of one of your earlier lines that you include in it

    "Who is that girl,That I see,
    In the mirror, Oh, no that can't be me."

    I find this repetition to be almost essential to add your dark, broken tone to the piece.

    There are some parts where i think you could work on the flow of your writing or just change some words to be a little more unique..

    Overall good work though.

  • 10 years ago

    by ariana

    Deepist poem ive seen from you dude and ive seen lots even the ones that arent on here. i love it it inspires me

  • 10 years ago

    by Butterfly

    Very emotional. Loved it! You are talented! :D