Comments : Until We Meet Again

  • 14 years ago

    by Nee

    Rebecca..well..that was a little bit off the flow.
    I didn't really like the rhyme, it felt so forced.
    The title wasn't that captivating either.

    "This is like dying.
    Unexacting grief is what I feel.
    My heart taken
    Against my will."
    ^
    I don't think this unrhymed stanza was supposed to be here, made the flow more forced. It felt like you couldn't rhyme at the end so you had to give it a shot wih free verse.

    The capitalized letter at the beginning of the lines weren't all necessary, some of them was completing the lines so..

    Write on (:

  • 14 years ago

    by HidinVictim

    This is beautiful, something I can really relate to being seperated from someone you love. I really liked the flow, and the imagery was beautiful. Hmm looked like a stormy beach in my head anyways great job.. 5/5