Wow.
amazing read.
luved it.
5/5

Thx bro.

Also pretty sad. but it needs moar desu! its like telling a story, but leaving out parts of the story. you had good imagery and rhyming was good. but it lacks some depth to give it true meaning.

keep it up, you have good inspiration and creative ideas.

~Ben

I'll make another...and thx

i appreciate it ben

OK SAD MUCH ='-C that was amazing,
but now i do want the whole story XP
5outa5
**bri

Thx bri
im making another part.

"I went home to cry on my bed,
not a word to my mother was said."
^ A simple story to begin with. It's a normal scene, with many endings and this immediately grasped my attention. Good start.

"Father came late at night,
he looked at me from left to right."
^ It's interesting I suppose, though if you wanted to build up the suspense for your next lines, perhaps more powerful words should have been used? Something more graphic to explain what's going on. Is it dark? Raining? Or sickeningly sunny? Significant sounds around you may have been interesting. Did the world seem to stop, and give silence? Or did it go on, sadistically as if to laugh at this?

"He saw me hanging from a rope,
he took his knife to cut me down.
And on my dress a note was found."
^ At first I didn't completely understand what you meant by this. But perhaps that was just me at fault?

"~Dig my grave,
dig it deep.
Dig my grave,
from head to feet.
And on the top put a dove,
to show the world, I died for love.~ "
^ Perhaps if you used this suicide note a different way? I didn't find it to be too effective :/ "Dig My Grave" seems to be a bit of a cliche line, so the repetition didn't seem to help much. Though I adore the last two lines, well written and very interesting.

While this poem you've written held flow, and a story, it seemed much like every other poem about suicide that I've read. Try to make it more yours, a more personal touch. I also didn't understand the title. Why is it a sorry? Why is it "Sorry _Daddy_" of all things? Maybe you should change the title to something else, or express more what you mean so strongly about apologizing to your father in this. Keep on Writing (:

Ummm like i keep saying. im making more to it. but thx for the feedback. as said before, im working on it.
thank you for the comments, i appreciate it.

Wow i really liked this one
seriously speechless and just fantastic
keep up the amazing work

Thank you john....and i surely will keep writing.

Hmmm thx....im making it a story, as it seems it doesnt make sense. thx

That was very morbid. I loved it. I'm into this kind of writing. if you some of my poems youd see what i mean. good job! :)

Thank you amelia.
i'll look at yours as well

Wow.!. Amazingg.!.
Can't wait to see what you add.!.
5/5

Thx vero
you'll probably like it

Lots of emotion in it very well writen needs to be extended a bit but still very good =)
...vaud

Aww thx....im surely going to extend it

*Val

I'm not going to go on about why I like this poem. Just so you know I'm not the type of person to comment unless I really like a poem, and I really like this one. It has great flow and emotion, I think you did a great job on this,

Peace

StopTheMadness