I thought this was an okay piece. A lot of what you said seems like it has been said before. I would have liked to have seen some more original lines and maybe a more creative topic. I think you can do a lot better than this. Maybe if you dropped the last line and thought of something stronger and something different that it would make the poem more powerful for me. War and people fighting is very commom now and I think you forgot that. You have to take this concept and make it your own or people won't want to read or will lose intrest. So keep that in mind when you write your next piece. Step outside the norm and show us you. Nik