Comments : Succubus

  • 14 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    Another great write with very deep meaning. Once again flow was pretty good but you missed a great deal of punctuation throughout the poem. Periods and certain comma's that should have been in. For instance on the second stanza I had to stop for a moment because on the second line you say "yet stuckle to her I shall, for I I'll love still" It makes the reader stop after the first comma and reread what they read because it sounds like it makes no sense. I think another comma after "for I, I'll love still" Will make the reader stop before saying the second part and have a much more drastic impact and not hurt the flow. I don't downgrade over punctuation for its easily fixed and for me doesn't hurt the meaning behind the poem. 5/5 well done