Ben,

This piece had a really strong message, but it would be an even stronger poem if you were to make it a non- rhyming one. this may seem scary to you, but in fact it gives you much more space to say what you want to say.

what do i do when i take
selling my soul for something fake
just to fit in to the highest degree
destroying the better part of me

^^

To some degree we all sell our soul to the devil, just to survive..doesn't make it right..but it's a tough world.

God bless,

5/5 Ingrid

ps: Happy Xmas time:)