Like a child staring at a books thousand pages

i think you might have misplaced the "a" if you moved it after books it would read

"Like a child staring at books a thousand pages"

idk, it just seems a bit off.

BUT you had a lot of good imagery. i especially liked how you described God's presence like thunderous rain. stroke of genius that.

keep writing
~Ben

Actually, I forgot an apostraphe in books haha.
"Like a child staring at a book's thousand pages"