The flow and the message was powerful. The range of syllables per line is a bit wide though, ranging from 3-12. But it's a choice and maybe there was a purpose beind it. All in all, great poem.
Aken Sol

great poem...you really have a lot of talent. and the best thing is , the poem actauly means something and it just has that kick lol. but yea awsum job!
-luv-
me

great poem, really thought provoking, and very very interesting and well worded, put together perfectly and flowed very nicely except forfor one thing,

A step More I took
and I incredulously found
an enormous stack of papers were bound
to my back, so many papers

just a thought, it might be better if it said, um,

an enormous stack of papers
to my back, were bound

but other than that it was very very good, great work!

yeah i agree with elisabeth, it really leaves you thinking because it can be intrepreted in a variety of ways, at least i intrepreted it in a few ways. but it was very good, good flow, a few parts didnt seem to flow quite right though, but other than that absolutly great!