I love the wording in this poem and the picture it portrays. But the only thing that is leaving me from not wholeheartedly loving this poem is the flow of it. When read out loud, the poem is very choppy. You have many different varying flows, some lines are extremely long, then short, then mediocre, then long again. I'd work on the flow and scheme of this poem, then it'd be a complete masterpiece. 4/5 but could easily be a 5/5.

I'm really diggin' your poetry. Especially these life pieces. I love the (sad) truth you portray here. It's so confusing to be human, one day we want this, the next, not. We sacrifice moments for vanity, and never wholly delve into where our hearts really want to beat. I love the way your poems make the reader think, nice tactful wording. Am definately a fan! :)