A few suggestions would be to drop the word The in the first line and drop the word my in the second line of verse 1. Perhaps the last line of verse 1 should read obscuring a daybreak.
dwelling places of clairvoyant thoughts
obscuring a daybreak
Those suggestions are simply my opinions. Overall, I find the poem well written, nice images of the path with flowers and trees, the rain fresh and the sounds of rain are done well. The last verse seems out of place when added to the other verses, an abrut change to the theme of the others.
^The vapor sacks
dwelling places of my clairvoyant thoughts
obscure a daybreak^
Sylvia is right, The is an unnecessary filler word and doesn't take away anything from the piece if you remove it.
The structure is quite distracting. The second line is too long and the other stanzas are not consistent- you have 3 lines, 4 lines, no apparent pattern. I would suggest something like:
of clairvoyant thoughts
obscure a daybreak
saunters along a path
elms, pines, rhododendrons
weighty early morning showers
the rain - can you find a better word than the to describe the rain? Here you have a chance to be consistent with your vivid, picture painting imagery.~ If you just add one word then all the stanzas so far will have the first line having 2 words with 2 or 3 syllables which also makes the piece flow better.
~okay then you have 3 one word lines. this is what I mean about the structure. Can't you find a couple more words to add about the same length as the lines in the other stanzas?
a kite trills - a isn't necessary
flies to its vantage-point
feeds on a night's carcass - I didn't understand this metaphor. It doesn't fit with the rest of the piece and add another line so this stanza will have 4 lines.
Just a few suggestions. I think you have a nice foundation but it needs a little tweaking.