The images in this are very vivid and I have seen them many times sitting beside my own husband. Gambling can steal your soul and every other possession you have. Well done.

Interesting write, I liked it. Not to sure about having "and" and "but" on separate lines, in my opinion it doesn't add anything to the poem by doing that.

- Joe

I think I'd have to agree with you about the 'and', I hadn't really noticed that it's placement is really unnecessary.

The 'but' serves as a jolt from being distracted by her positive attributes and realizing the reality of her coldness. Or at least that was the intent and how I felt at the time I observed this scene.

Thanks for the input though, I'm off to pull that naughty 'and' out of there :)

Very Unique write. You have pulled the reader in an made them experience the surroundings. I could feel myself at the table and in your position. Awesome job.
I especially liked the insertion of this line

"just paper with portraits
prostituting themselves"

Awesome!

Another awesome write, wow I am in awe of what you have written. I have to agree with the comment above me that line was very original , I remember stopping and reading it over again. A real life scene definitely..you really make us feel the true atmosphere and what gambling is truly like. It couldn't have felt more real. It's quite sad to see how addicted people become to it. Very nicely done.