This was gud but i guess in the middle u took too many thngs but wasnt able to relate them effectively ........u shud use 1 or 2 ideas and circle around them n create a scene so that reader gets lost in that....... :)

Ok thats good, ill try that next time :)

Yeah ...... so ll i to get tat simplicity which u hav in excess :)

Haha yes :))

Surely if u help :P