Comments : Stranger

  • 8 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    Another great piece, but before I get into it fully, there's two things I thought you should know. First, in the second half of this piece there's the line 'My words are full hate'. I assume you meant to put an 'of' or 'with in there. And second, forth line from the end, is the line 'Each day I loose a piece of myself', which I'm sure is meant to be 'lose'. These are obviously not big issues, but I thought I'd let you know.

    Now, on to the proper analysis. Straight away you start off strong. The first four lines are simple, but again very effective and powerful.

    In this piece, I felt it was the themes and statements that really drove it forward. This piece deals with identity and family, and you really summed that up with the lines;

    'My biggest fear is that
    Someday I'll turn into you'

    Which is a very common, but very powerful statement.

    'I don't recognize my reflection
    This girl that stares back
    I'm not sure what happened to her
    Or how to get her back'

    Great rhythm and rhyme, but it's the message that I love here. Not reconizing yourself, or knowing how to get back to yourself. I think this particularly is something many people can relate to, and in fact, I think that about this entire poem. It's a poem identity and family, which we all have had issues with at some point.

    And finally, I loved the way it ended when refering to yourself. Such a simple line, but again, powerful (I feel like I'm just repeating the same points, but it's only because that's exactly how I feel).

    Another great piece. Both these poems I've voted for and I hope you win at least one of them, because I genuinely think they're great pieces (I only ever vote and comment honestly (hense my P.S. statement at the end of each comment)).

    Brad

    P.S. Please vote and comment honestly on every poem that you read.