Honestly, it just felt...plain. There was no zest in it. The rhymes were average, the rhythm felt slow, and the wording had no spirit.

I know this seems harsh, and believe me, i hate to be harsh about anyone's work, but I just feel this piece needed a lot of work.

On the plus side, I wasn't disrespectful. And if I said your work was perfect, you'd have nothing to work on.

Anyway, sorry if you've taken offense.

Brad

P.S. Please comment and vote honestly on every poem that you read.