Comments : How do we?

  • 9 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Indeed, how do we do what we do and why do we do it?

    For each of us that question has a different answer, but we all ended up doing the same thing and have the world to share it with.

    Nice write, Yaki:)

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 9 years ago

    by Chelsey

    OMG Yaki...this was pretty much quite enjoyable for me!!

    How do we convert all
    that we fear into phrases
    sugar coated with metaphors
    only to create unique
    pieces that speak to the universe

    ^ Fricken loved this!!!...I think in the stanza the question should be why do we?...I think so often people over use metaphors and turn emotions into something overly creative that it may be best to just right it with raw emotion and state how you feel...but this stanza was incredibly unique I loved it!

    Some of us were born poets
    others where pushed by life
    into the depth of creative writings.

    ^ to be real with you...THIS right here needs to be one of those famous qoutes remembered by everyone..That was brilliant yaki! I enjoyed that SO much! What a way to end it!

  • 9 years ago

    by Blissful

    Yaki, the wisdom behind your words blew me away. A few tweaks here and there will make this poem flawless.

    "How do we take horrifying
    things and turn them into"
    I had an English professor who drilled into my mind that "thing" is a bad word and should never be used because it does nothing for your writing. I feel like "things" here could be replaced with a better word that will add more meaning to the stanza.

    "to clouds,to skies,to dreams"
    ^There should be spaces after the comma and the following word such so it should look like this. "to clouds, to skies, to dreams" Having it all mushed together made me stumble when reading it.

    "a cup of thee"
    ^ a cup of "tea" ?

    "Some of us were born poets
    others where pushed by life
    into the depth of creative writings. "
    ^Great ending! You spoke of so much truth in this short poem that I couldn't help but come up with answers to your question.

  • 9 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    How do we compare love
    to clouds,to skies,to dreams
    getting our point across
    in the most vulnerable way
    ^I love the idea of the poem and how you leave the thought open to the reader. I kind of like how you don't have question marks after each question, because you're leaving it open for thought and plus it's more of a hypothetical question than literal if that makes sense. I particularly loved this stanza because so much of us do express love through metaphors that are quite simple and I guess cliche, yet it is the only way we know of to get the true meaning of how we feel out. This stanza just spoke so much to me as a reader, liked it a lot.

    How do we
    find inspiration in the corner
    of the rarest things like;
    a cup of thee,the wind,the newspaper
    ^Wasn't sure but are you sure you didn't mean 'a cup of tea'? Loved this snipet here too, all the stanzas are great actually. You speak so much truth in your words. I can't help but to nod in agreement. It makes so much sense as a poet to read this. It's so easy to connect with.

    Very intuitive piece here, very thought provoking. It's such a great poem that I wish I could have come up with something like this. It's excellent.