Another well written piece with a good rhythm and simple rhymes. The reader really gets a sense of this dangerous and evil person.

There's one line, like 13 lines from the end that is 'The moment your gone'. One, (not that it's a big deal, but...) it should be 'you're'. And two, I think it would fit better if perhaps there was a 'that' in there - 'The moment that you're gone'. I think it just would flow better.

Anyway, good piece. Have a good day.

Brad

P.S. Please comment and vote HONESTLY on every poem you read.

Amazing Poem ;
Happend To My Little sister as well ,
But now,
shes way Better of in heaven,
now that shes gone...

This is deep.. it gave me chills :(

Man I hope dis ain't da sitch u in. I love da poem tho