This poem touches me so. Living with depression I feel I know what you're saying, as if you're saying it to and for me.

I had to read that twice .. I like what you did with that one.

I liked the last stanza specifically ... The emotion of weakness that takes over as you give in, I like how this emotion is portrayed in your poem

Nice Job :)

^ lol Nano you're so cute

Anyways I really enjoyed thie poem. So many parts of it were just really amazing and well written. I love the emotions and how you strung them together. Very glad I stopped by to read this. Hope to see more soon. -Nik

Very good try.. the sadness shines in this poem. but its a dark poem.. very well written. and rhyming in every-line. made me little odd in my case. after all this is excellent way of writing a dark poems.. i loved it :) now we are equal :)

This could easily be made into a song - very Dylanesque

A smile on the face, is what I wear
...
Peoples ...
^^^ Works better to drop ", is what " plus change last line to people's

Affecting every decision I make
^^^ affecting = affects

Haunting me, whenever I am asleep
Frightening me, causing me to weep
Sanity, I can no longer keep
^^^ too many commas and 'ing's; try changing 'I am asleep' to 'I sleep'

Agonizing screams is what I hear
^^^ Agonizing = agonized

I will give in to darkness temptations
I will go there with no sedation
I can no longer find my salvation
I have already lost my liberation
^^^ darkness = dark, drop the 'my's, & contract 'I have' to 'I've' & every line is nine beats - drives home your meaning

Wonderful poem! With a few tweaks, this becomes a masterpiece!

I really enjoyed this poem.. You've expressed such raw, deep and sad emotions.. and I liked the way you've expressed these emotions. I love the title as well, it fit perfectly! Good job!

Hmmm... u write dark ones wid d same ease as ur other writes....

Hmmm a tale of confusion powerfully put. Sometimes we all hit a wall in life and it makes us doubt, fear and question what it all means. We struggle through the pain and disappointment and grow stronger until one day the sun shines for us again. Your piece captures the emotions so well bravo!