I like this piece. The flow was good and so were the images. Great job in organizing the ideas logically..

My suggestions:

- A sense ... attack --> "attacks"
- That the rainbow ran away from me --> "this verse is like a hole in a solid-brick wall.. You need to link the verse before it to it and the verse after it also.. I think "that" should be canceled.. "Even" could work better.
- "Yes the sky will never be blue anymore" --> this was a bad end :\ I suggest you cancel this line.. and keep the very one before it 'cz it makes the end tighter and stronger!

Awesome job. I liked :)

What a fantastic poem you wrote here bro .. How amazing and thoughtful are the pictures that this poem shows .. Fantasy portrayed into reality ..