Its difficult to fault something so obviously heartrending. The poem is posted for critique and may I respectfully suggest that 'matter', in the first stanza, be changed to 'care'. I'm also not sure about the lay out and spacing at the end of the poem. I do understand the dramatic nature of the theme, but the content is so powerful. It doesn't need embellishment. Indeed I feel that pulling the words close together adds to their effect. This is well written and so tragic. It gets its message across. Bravo!

Ah, I really wanted some feedback on how to make it better! Thanks so much :))

There is a few thing I could say to falut the flow of the poem but I ain't this was written with so much passion and true emotion you cant fault anything that comes from the heart a very good write the more you write and see other peoples work you will be amazing great words so powerful x